Starting a family was never really my thing. I grew up in Central Florida, to a single mom with three daughters. My dad left us when my mom was pregnant with my little sister, and we haven’t heard from him since. My mom remarried when I was 8 years old. It was quite the adjustment, but seeing my mom max out her credit cards, get kicked out of housing, and crying daily was dreadful. This couldn’t be life.
My stepdad is great. Scratch that, he’s my dad – the only one I’ve ever had. Upon my mom marrying, we all moved into a large house that belonged to my stepdad’s mom. It had 4 bedrooms and could really use a renovation; but it was massive compared to our 1-bedroom rental in Tampa. Living with my newfound grandma allowed both of my parents to work, and the unimaginable like gymnastic lessons were now reality. Grandma was very… old-school. All day she would ask about what kind of wives we wanted to be in the future. She’d pull out her now-beige but once white wedding dress and ask us who will wear it down the line. Weddings, love, and romance were never my thing; but I’m glad my sisters were around to entertain her. Into our teens, I found a big divide between myself and my sisters. I wanted to leave Tampa, pursue a career as a lawyer, and eventually run my own law firm. Them, not so much. Grandma’s house was where they wanted to stay. I eventually went off to the School of Law at Boston University; where life was well, chilly, but exactly what I needed for a change.
Randomly while having a smoothie outside of Marsh Chapel, someone hands me a pamphlet about egg-freezing. Tossed that right into my bag but paid no attention to it at the time. Upon arriving home, my roommate and her very drunk boyfriend were having the time of their lives. I proceeded to the common area, whipped out a book, and sat there for a bit. As I’m clearing out my bag, I see the clinical pamphlet and notice the advertisement on the rear: $7,000 per egg donation cycle. I was already drowning in student loans and figured why not? Big Bonus – for a $4,000 payout, you can keep some eggs for yourself should the retrieval be successful. I was not in any relationship, didn’t see one coming anytime soon, and wondered—why not?
Let me tell you—this process was more daunting than I had ever imagined. Once it was done, eggs were stored, and I never looked back. Needed to erase the experience from my mind. Fast forward, I land an associate position at one of NYC’s top Law Firms for Global Private Equity. Hours were long, work was brutal, and time for a relationship- yeah right. Years later at 37, I decided to start dating, and was open to men and women. For anyone who has dated in New York City, it is a full-time job. One would argue it is more challenging than my career as an attorney. I didn’t identify as a lesbian until a week after my 40th birthday. My female partner, 8 years my junior, and I later married and relocated to Miami Beach. Besides, we both had family in the state of Florida, making the move a win-win. I shifted career gears and now work as an in-house attorney.
My partner had always wanted to experience pregnancy, so we used a sperm donor and had a beautiful baby boy. What happened to my stored eggs up in Boston? Nobody knows, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Dorothy, Miami, Florida